What is Child Inclusive Mediation?

Separation and divorce can take its toll on everyone in the family and very often decisions are made on behalf of the children, without their opinions being taken into account or understood.

This is where Child Inclusive Mediation can be extremely beneficial. Child Inclusive Mediation is a process where a specially trained family mediator meets with a child confidentially during the mediation process to make sure that their voice is heard. These Mediators are specially trained, and their job is to ensure as far as possible that the child is comfortable enough to explain how they are feeling and any concerns or hopes they may have. It is important that the parents understand well before the meeting that they should not try to influence the outcome of the child inclusive session.

Can a child be forced to take part in a Child Inclusive Mediation?

A child’s participation in this process is entirely voluntary, and their voice cannot be heard without both of their parents’ consent. If the parents agree to the process, then the mediator will write an age-appropriate letter or email to the child to explain how the process works and to give reassurance to the child that anything they say during the process will be kept in confidence, which is vital from a safeguarding perspective. The only exception is that if the child mentions a situation where they are at risk of harm. Child Inclusive Mediation will only benefit the child if they have chosen to enter the process freely.

Feedback from this meeting will only be shared with the parents if the child gives their permission to the mediator, and this will be done in a separate feedback meeting. A child may find it easier to talk about the changes that are planned with an empathetic third party who can help them to talk freely about the situation without the fear of upsetting either parent.  They may for example feel unhappy about the proposed living arrangements and appreciate a chance to have their say.  Under the mediation code of practice, all children and young people aged 10 and above should be offered the opportunity to have their voices heard directly during mediation if they wish, although the maturity of the child will also be taken into consideration.

When does a Child Inclusive Mediation take place?

A Child Inclusive Mediation can only happen once both MIAM assessments and the first mediation session have taken place where it will be discussed as to whether it is appropriate and necessary for the child/children to be seen. If the family mediator involved in the separation or divorce does not have the child inclusive training, then you can use a different mediator for this part of the process. Your mediator should be able to help you find a child inclusive mediator.  If there are siblings then, they have the choice on whether to be seen together or separately, although they are generally encouraged to be seen separately.   A Child Inclusive Mediation can take place anywhere, but it is advised that it be a safe and neutral location such as the mediator’s office. The meeting takes place separately to the parents.   The meetings can also take place on line if the mediator feels this is appropriate for your family.

What are the benefits of Child Inclusive Mediation?

Ultimately the parents (or anyone with parental responsibility) will have the final say on any child arrangements, but children often feel better about these decisions if they know that their feelings and views have been taken into account. With over half of children now coming from separated households (ONS 2022), it is clear that giving children a voice is very important and the process is becoming increasingly recognised.

At Venters Mediation we can offer Child Inclusive Mediation as part of the mediation process and have signed up to the family mediation voucher scheme.  The family mediation voucher scheme is designed to support couples who may be able to resolve their family law disputes outside of court. A financial contribution of up to £500 towards the costs of mediation will be provided in mediations involving children.

If you would like to discuss the voucher scheme or how Child Inclusive Mediation can work for you, then please get in touch with our mediation team.