The different ways to separate following a relationship breakdown

When a relationship breaks down, couples often assume that going through a divorce is the only option to formally end the relationship.

There may be a variety of reasons why you may not want to issue Court Proceedings for divorce or dissolution when you separate from your spouse or civil partner. This could be for religious reasons or simply because you are not yet sure that you want to permanently end your relationship.

In this article we cover the different ways you can formally end a relationship and resolve any disputes regarding access to children and financial arrangements.

Separation Agreements and Nuptial Agreements

Whilst a Separation Agreement (sometimes referred to as a Deed of Separation) will not provide the finality and formality that a Divorce or Dissolution provides, it can nonetheless be of considerable benefit to a couple, particularly in addressing financial issues for the future and children arrangements, prior to formally ending the relationship.

Although a Marital Separation Agreement is not currently binding in England and Wales, it provides clear evidence of the parties’ intentions should they later issue divorce or dissolution proceedings. It is for this reason that it is sensible for both parties to provide full and frank financial disclosure and to seek separate legal advice when entering a Separation Agreement.

If the parties still agree the Separation Agreement terms when divorce or dissolution proceedings begin, if indeed they do begin, an Order can be drawn up using the original terms, making them legally binding and enforceable, whilst at the same time mitigating the costs involved because much of the necessary preparatory steps would have already been taken in achieving the Marital Separation Agreement.

Another option is to consider a Post Nuptial Agreement.  A Post Nuptial Agreement is specific to married couples and the purpose is to record an agreement reached after marriage in relation to your finances should the marriage breakdown.   Post Nuptial Agreements are not yet legally binding under the Law of England & Wales but if they are properly entered into with financial transparency and with both husband and wife taking advice they can be highly persuasive in the event of a marital breakdown.  They should be reviewed regularly if circumstances change.   We can advise and assist with both Post Nuptial Agreements (after marriage) or Pre Nuptial Agreements (before the marriage). 

Divorce

If your relationship has broken down irretrievably and you wish to end your marriage formally, then you will need to go through the divorce process and our team are here to guide you. In April 2022, the divorce process in the UK changed significantly and the spouse starting the proceedings no longer needs to apportion blame on the other, with the new process now aptly named ‘no-fault divorce’.  The updated law encourages a more constructive and conciliatory approach to separation as couples can divorce without one party blaming the other for the breakdown of the marriage or civil partnership.

The divorce process can now be done online, however, it remains vital to seek legal advice to ensure that you achieve the outcome you need for the future. Ending your marriage through divorce, does not automatically end any financial ties with your partner and you must consider a Financial Arrangement which should be negotiated through your solicitor alongside your divorce.

Finances can be complex and encompass many different important aspects, such as the marital home, income, savings, payment of debts, investments, child and spousal maintenance, and the division of pensions.

To achieve a fair financial settlement, we consider the entire financial picture of both you and your partner and the needs of each side. We require full disclosure of all the financial information and then we can analyse the data before advising you on your options to achieve  a fair and sensible settlement..

When both sides reach an agreement, we will make the arrangements legally binding via a Financial Consent Order. This will be sent to a Court so that a Judge can check that it is fair and meets the needs of all parties. Once approved by a Judge it will become a legally binding order and you can then begin to move on independently with a fresh start.

Where there are children involved in the separation, working out what is best for their future is not always straightforward and reaching an agreement about child contact arrangements can be highly emotional and often very contentious.

Child Arrangements Orders cover who the child is going to live with, spend time with and otherwise have contact with. They also cover when a child is to live with, spend time with and otherwise have contact with another person. Our children accredited team have years of experience in helping families come to these arrangements and we are here to help.

Once agreed, a Child Arrangement Order is put in place by the Court to help regulate these arrangements. Whatever happens, the Court will decide on what is in the best interests of the child. It may be reassuring to know that Child Arrangement Orders can be changed or ‘varied’ in the future as family circumstances change over time.

Coming to an agreement on child contact arrangements outside of the Court will put less strain on the family overall, but we understand that this may not always be possible, and we are here to help you navigate all of the options.

Mediation

Mediation is a non-court process that many couples find to be less acrimonious than the traditional route. Mediation is voluntary and can help disputing couples reach a resolution much more quickly than going through the court-based route.

For Mediation to work, both parties need to fully engage in the process and any settlements that are reached can be made into legally binding orders giving you both the comfort that the resolution is final.

Mediation can be used to help couples reach agreements on both financial and children arrangements, and the mediator is there to provide a safe environment to discuss, explore, reality test and successfully reach a set of joint proposals that can go on to be made legally binding should the parties wish.

Venters Solicitors can also offer Child Inclusive Mediation where their skilled professionals speak directly to the children to ensure that their views are heard as part of the process.

Arbitration

An option for family law dispute resolution that is often unknown to couples is Arbitration. A family Arbitrator is essentially a private judge, instructed by you to work confidentially with both parties, to help you to reach a legally binding solution in relation to financial and children arrangements.

Using this route is extremely flexible as you have full control over where you meet, how you communicate and how much of the process you involve the Arbitrator in. They can assist with the whole process or just part of it for a specific issue, such as child contact.  In children however, it is important to note that the Court does however retain the power to review the decision if at any point there is any doubt that the order is not in the best interests of the child’s welfare.

One of the main benefits to Arbitration is the speed at which final decisions are made, as this can be significantly quicker than taking the matter to Court. The outcome of the Arbitration becomes final and legally binding once the Arbitrator sends out the written award (or judgement).

Arbitration is also confidential, which can be important to couples who do not wish to attract media attention in the Courts.  UK Courts are currently trialling a transparency scheme which allows reporters into the Courts to report on family law matters.  If you do not wish your private life to attract media attention, then Arbitration may be the route for you.

If you need help to choose which is the best option for you following a relationship breakdown, then our team  here at Venters Solicitors are here to help you every step of the way. We have offices in Reigate, Camberwell, Fleet and Farnham and meetings can be held remotely if more convenient for you.